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Mon Jun 29, 2009, 2:01 PM
Maybe there is something inherently wrong with me…… I crave achievement to separate myself from my past, yet as a philosopher and poet I can never figure out what achievement is, it least to myself…………


I find myself lately wanting to have a thought process that is considered “normal” it least by societal standards. Things like sex, and particular drugs and friends…. sometimes it feels like I just don’t understand what everyone is thinking just like a lot of them don’t understand what I am thinking…


Part of me is still a scared, paranoid foster child and recently I found myself becoming possive over my friends and that makes me feel like utter shit, its like there my friends and maybe a part of me is afraid of losing them while another part understands that most people don’t really care anyways… I’m trying to build a wall again and at the same time im trying to knock it down……

I donno maybe some of those old families are right… I’m 25 this year and maybe I cant be fixed

  • Mood: Eager
  • Listening to: ps. not an eager mood, damn icon wouldnt change
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Devious Comments

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:iconhuyo-miaka:
hmm, lets see, what to make of this... old habits die hard, i know, I'm still very immature and i don't care, it makes me "ME" and keeps me going. if you can believe it, i tried to start a cursing habbit a few years ago, you all know the result of that. basically, i learned from my dad and a teacher, what dosen't kill u makes you stronger. in other words, you may be sittin on the floor in a pile of dirty clothes waiting to be washed, questioning your exsistence. various thoughst pop in your head like bloodeh Pop ups, but they cover up that one thought in the back that says "hey, waita sec, i could be playing a video game rather than crying, i could be writing, drawing, watching really bad movies and laughing at them, I could call my friends, i could be doing alot of things rather than whining about diffrent i feel. also, about the habits thing, there are most that are changable, i have stopped biting my nails which i had done for all my life. maybe because i was challenged , i didn't do something that I've always done just because i told myself "i'll bet you can't"...does this help at all Ruu-chan? or do i need to get Jason AND Aaron in a speedo to dance on a table for you?

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"Cookin' MCs like a pound of BACON"
:iconpoetoflore:
i Swear lol jason and aron come anywear near my food in speedos I will vomit then play street fighter, ( the organial with sunny)on there little berries

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To read is to live, so Read or die !!!!!!!
:iconhuyo-miaka:
LOL ^__^

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"Cookin' MCs like a pound of BACON"
:iconpoetoflore:
dont you laugh at me!! lol you tin cat person, i got some cat nip for you

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To read is to live, so Read or die !!!!!!!
:iconhuyo-miaka:
tin cat? like in Sailor Moon super stars...wait no... that was Tin MOUSE, the cat was...some other type of metal...or wait, is it Tin cat and Iron mouse, or iron cat and tin mouse...OMG MUH BRAIN 'SPLODED!

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"Cookin' MCs like a pound of BACON"
:iconpoetoflore:
lmao i meant to say tiny and forgot my Y, I supose Y was left out once again

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To read is to live, so Read or die !!!!!!!

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